Hi and thank you for allowing me to ask you,
I have a couple of issues. I am 47 and a male. I have been diagnosed with depression, social anxiety, general anxiety and panic something. I struggle focusing so reading is a tough one – I can read but it takes a long time.
I binge eat and sometimes have issues about my body but I have never been diagnosed with anything.
I take anti-depressants, anti-anxieties, I go to individual therapy with a psychologist, group therapy (it is sort of ACT) and I have a psychiatrist. I have had 7 ECT treatments. They stopped them because he said they were not working or having any affect on me.
I keep getting feedback or comments that the professionals are confused by me. I don’t seem depressed. I guess they mean I am not catatonic or silent. I can laugh at funny things, I can talk when needed and I can be polite when called for. I still have incredible bouts of loneliness, depression, fears and suicidal thoughts. I just can’t get over (this is another anxiety issue I guess…) them saying I am not typical of depression. It makes me think they don’t believe me or that I should be something that I am not.
One of my major worries is that people don’t like me and that I am not likable. So I have a severe issue about my behavior. I act out. I say things that are not appropriate – always as a joke and very rarely do I actually insult a person but I don’t seem to know how to control myself. I don’t know what this is either. It is like I can’t have clean thoughts and ideas that are not twisting or analyzing everything.
I can have suicidal thoughts and laugh out loud at a stand up comedian on TV but I think I am not sick enough for the professionals. I don’t know how to address this to my therapist and it makes me wonder if I am doing anything correctly.
Thank you.
Are you doing anything that you are incredibly passionate about in terms of career, work, volunteer work? I find a key to focus and stay on an uplifted path from depression is to be doing health-ful behaviours and to have a goal or some type of work that I am extrememly passionate about that benefits not only myself, but others. If I am not working towards a goal in my ultimate career path and or helping others I feel insignificant and unliked and it leads to bouts of depression and binge eating myself. But I too, am able to laugh at a joke, be polite when needed, yet have had major bouts of negative thoughts and depressed-like behaviours. It’s tough but you can keep going and feel better, free from your depression and anxiety! Keep working at it. And don’t be afraid to keep looking for a therapist, personal mentor or outlet that truly works for you. Sometimes going to one counselor just isn’t the right fit. Don’t be afraid to express these thoughts with them!
I am not confident enough to take a risk for something that might be a passion.
I am afraid of most people and their judgement. I think I have a combo of stuff that has me frozen